Do you always know when you have a winning hand?  And if so, do you know when to hold them?  Or do you some times, untimely fold?  Don’t just hate it when that happens? Kenny Rogers – The Gambler on You Tube

And then, even at times, when you have a winning hand, you suddenly realize it’s time to walk away!  Perhaps doing it in the interest of the greater good???

Making smart and sometimes tough decisions for leaders in key roles is not always clear as day.  Many times it comes with dark clouds and you want to wait for the storm to pass before you proceed.  However, it is during these kinds of times that afford the opportunity for you to get centered, get real, and get ready to find the courage to make those tough decisions.  Do Not Delay!

And I ask you, what’s winning anyway?

What does it mean having it all? (Is that winning?)

Is that what you really want?

Are your priorities in order?

Have you mastered the art of delegation?

In order to know when to hold them, when to fold them, and when to walk away; you have to have a high Intelligence Quotient and a formidable Emotional Intelligence plus a high level of intuitive artistry guiding your every step through the tough-decision making process of no matter what, winning/doing the right thing that benefits everyone, not just yourself, or a handful of few.

You also have to have a certain amount of experience at folding, losing, and walking away.

CONSIDER:

What does it take to win, to lose, and to walk away?

• Know what “winning” means to you.
• Know what your objective is.
• Above all, know the level of your expertise.
• And…..know your CORE values!
• This will greatly help you through the tough decisions.
• Remember, not one size fits all, nor most.
• You are more powerful than you think.
• You have great determination.
• You have gracious ways to retrieve when you have to.
• You hold yourself accountable for your actions.
• You never blame others for a reversal of fortune or luck.

OPTIONS:

• Don’t tie yourself down to a life of misery for the sake of winning!
• Be true to yourself.
• Understand what’s truly important to you, and those that really matter, count and love in your life.
• Walk away when you feel your Integrity may be compromised.
• Be mindful that winning is not everything.
• Here is where experience counts more than anything imaginable.
• Wish for yourself the very same you wish for those you love.
• Be very proud about WHO you are.
• Know that YOU matter.
• Don’t let obsessive desires to win, tangle up your life in a time-warp you wished you would have not done.
• Trust your intuition.
• Practice faith and trust in the greatest good.
• Believe in yourself.
• Make Contribution a priority in your life.
• Keep a “Pay It Forward” attitude and mentality.
• Always Be Grateful!

ACTION PLAN:

• Put yourself first, up front and center.
• Make a plan to always have your needs met first.
• Remember life is a balancing act.
• Decide what’s acceptable for you and what is not.
• Make a clear list of your boundaries, and share with those that need to know.
• Be the first one to honor and respect your own boundaries.  If you don’t, why should others?
• Do NOT stay in a HOLD pattern when you have a lot to lose.
• Fold if you must, and walk away.
• Is it easy? NO.
• Is it healthy?  YES.
• What would you gain?  Your Sanity and peace of mind, body and soul.
• Don’t ever compromise for the wrong reasons.
• Expanding your mind, will help expand your values, your sense of authentic self, and transparency in all dealings.
• Be willing to play in other people’s sandbox, and play nice.
• Remember to have FUN!
• No matter what, ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL!

On A Personal Note:

Collaboration is my theme word for this year, and won’t you know it….a new group that I joined forces with in January, two of its members from Canada won a Caribbean Cruise with a stop back in Orlando, and we had the opportunity to meet in person.  It was awesome.  I took them around my little town of Ormond Beach and the new park on A1A, where the Atlantic waters were clear and beautiful.  We had a great time, and had an opportunity to chat about things that are important to us in our lives.  It was refreshing to compare notes of our individual values and how much they matched!  Value-matching is one of the “fundamentals” in mutually beneficial and successful relationships.

And I must say, spring is definitely in the air and the signs of freshness, and all things new, are all around us.  It’s a great reminder that nothing lasts forever, and that with each good-bye, there is a new “hello.”  Appreciating our surroundings, including those of the soul, gives birth to new beginnings.  Time to capitalize on them and not to miss out on the best programs ever, available to you:  http://AliRodriguez.com/programs

Featured Article:

Are You Being Betrayed?  Fight back with the Power of Integrity!

Have you ever felt like you’re walking around with a knife in your back?

Have you seen it happen to others?

 Was the pain so intense that you were paralyzed or disarmed to do anything about it, and therefore, you didn’t?

Or did Anger get the best of you?

 This is a subject-matter that most people rather have a root canal over it, than try to speak of it.  It’s much easier to ignore it than bring it to the surface, and yet, most leaders know that the biggest failure is in ignoring failure itself.  It happens more often than it should.  So how do you handle it, how do you move through it, and definitely, how do you move forward?  And the big “F” word comes up, time and time again, and by that I mean, “Forgiveness.”  Mind blowing, isn’t it?

Here’s the deal.  Betrayal hurts like nothing else.  It hurts even more if it has never happened to you before, and out of the clear blue sky, WHAM, it happens.  You have no clue what’s going on at first, and once you do, you are so dumbfounded; you can’t even react let alone take action towards something that is so debilitating in nature!  Basically, you are in the dark…worse yet, you are crying alone.

What if it happens twice, or three times, or even more?  Do you hold yourself accountable or…is that….the breaking point when you become very religious, even if you weren’t before. You’ll find yourself calling on God and all its angels to come get you out of this mess, and if it is too late (yes, there are times when it is) you ask for them to give you an attitude adjustment so that you can be made whole again.  And then, that’s when your Dream Team comes to your rescue, which by the way, more times than not, it was developed by divine intervention; you just don’t know it yet.

Yes things can get very messy, and so it’s the feeling or the fact of failure!  And No one should go through this alone!  Use your Dream Team! They come in a variety of flavors, and you need to break it down as to issues:  Personal and Professional.  At this point you could turn to a Confidant, a Coach, a Mentor, Financial Adviser, your C.P.A., your management team, and even your spiritual guides: Physical, Psychological, Celestial or otherwise.  Whatever works for you…USE IT!  Above all, ask for help.  Do NOT go at it alone.  There is no shame in falling, and there is a lot of pride in getting up.  Always remember that!

Of course, all of the people above-mentioned, in the bigger scheme of things, can very effectively serve a dual purpose in helping you solve personal issues, and face head-on, professional road blocks and how to remove them, transform them, or all together disintegrate them.

CONSIDER:

What does it take to fight back lies, trust issues, and betrayal?

¨      Know what you’re made of.

¨      Be sure you have a back bone.

¨      Be resilient.

¨      Know that this is NOT your fault.

¨      Fight back when it is appropriate to do so.  Not every situation or circumstance calls for a war.

¨      Be mindful of your own limitations.

¨      Be also mindful of your own power.  This may be trickier than you think.

¨      Be mindful of:  Is it worth it?

¨      Your energy and well being is of the utmost consideration above all else.

OPTIONS:

Betrayal has neither gender bias nor geographical, and spiritual boundaries therefore, you could opt for:

¨      Getting even.  (Not recommended)

¨      Full-fleshed revenge.  (Not recommended.)

¨      Get angry and keep it bottled-up.  (Well worth considering!)

¨      Find dialogue with the person who injured you.  (Best answer!)

¨      If at work, talk openly with your boss. This arena is super-sensitive, but so is “HOME!” – They must be in harmony. Don’t trade time for money.

¨      Always have your well being, and that of your family, up-front and center.

¨      ACT IN INTEGRITY!!!

¨      Forgive YOURSELF!  (I will talk about this in my next newsletter as it is very sensitive subject, and most people don’t know the “how” nor the “what”, sometimes not even the “who” – Just when you think you know who it is, it really isn’t! – Stay tuned.

ACTION PLAN:

Your most relevant solution to betrayal is your own personal and professional INTEGRITY!  Living IN it, is crucial.  Having your personal and professional values very clear, they are paramount.

¨      Identify your resources.  Who’s really good for you?

¨      Write down your value-list.  It doesn’t matter if it turns out to be identical to last year, or the last time you wrote one.  It is of the utmost importance that it gets written down.  Do NOT keep it in your head. Whatever you do, enjoy the experience of “la plume.”

¨      The Power of Tribes: Do the Right Thing and others will follow.

¨      Lead with your Passion and by example!

¨      Know that betrayal is not an easy thing to deal with, especially, when it was totally unexpected.

¨      Surround yourself with the right people to help you forgive them and more importantly, to help you forgive yourself.

¨      Cultivate past and present relationships.  They are the gold in your rolodex.

¨      Connect at least twice a week with colleagues that can help you move on; even if you are left with a lot of tears.  Remember, crying is healing.

¨      It’s okay to have a Pitty-Party; but don’t stay there too long. Not beneficial to your physical and mental health.

¨      Honor your mistakes and own them.  Do NOT finger-point.

¨      Be gentle with yourself.

¨      Honor the pain that has been inflicted upon you, and immediately, move towards your own INTEGRITY,

¨      DOING THE RIGHT THING, will keep you living in integrity and get past the trust issues, and above all, to the point where you can trust again, no matter who it happens to be.

¨      Connect at least twice a week with those that can help you grow your internal compass.

¨      Cultivating past and present relationships is extremely important.  Have a “stay-in-touch” system with those who matter in your life, so that you not only live IN integrity, but you are accountable for your own personal and professional development.

¨      Last but not least….YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  This happens to the smartest and most brilliant people.  Again, it is NOT your fault.  Learn your lesson, and move on.

Wishing you always much love and success,

Ali

http://AliRodriguez.com/Programs

Have you ever seen or participated in doing the Tango?  If you have, you will know that it is one of the most beautiful dances ever.  It is sensuous, graceful, harmonious, intricate, physical, calculated and well choreographed.  It is also a highly creative way of self-expression….with another person… in a very intimate way!

The intensity of looking into each others’ eyes as if knowing what the other one is thinking and is about to do, shows the magic of the entire production, frame by frame, one gorgeous move after another, one step at a time in a very fast motion; with an outstanding clear message, well executed and delivered.

However, it takes two to do the Tango.  It cannot be done alone.

This briefly exemplifies the power of “Collaboration” on a 2-on-2 basis.

If you want to have a successful business, you must have a collaborative team.  And not just any team, but a team that:

• Matches your core values.
• Understands your vision.
• Is in alignment with the mission your business wants to accomplish.
• Values being an extension of your business growth.
• Loves being in the service of those you help.
• Has a good relationship to their money, so that they feel the same about yours.

Simple enough, right?  Not always; however, it certainly could be when in addition to office and managerial team, partners or joint ventures, you also have a Dream Team in place to help you make the best decisions for you and your business.

Who’s your Dream Team?  Your Business Coach/Strategist, your C.P.A., your attorney, your financial advisor, your banker, your insurance agent, and other professionals with a genuine desire to help you achieve your desired goals and success.  These are people that you not only know, but you like and absolutely trust.  In the long run it may include partners and joint-ventures colleagues.

CONSIDER:

What does it take to create the best “collaborative” office and managerial team?

• You have to know how to lead.
• They have to know how to follow.
• You know who belongs doing what.
• You know their strengths and weaknesses and use them accordingly.
• You are masterful at influencing others.
• You are mastering the art of clear communication of goals, vision, mission and alignment serving the greatest good!
• You know their job or at least know how it feels to do what you are asking them to do.
• You fully understand what it takes for them to meet your goals.

OPTIONS:

• Hire with long-term in mind and room to grow.
• If short-term is what you are pursuing, a Temporary Placement agency may be extremely helpful.
• Utilize your data-base of resources.  This could be newspaper advertising, word of mouth, referrals, on-line job-pools like Monster and Career Builders, one-stop career local center, temp agencies, friends, and other professionals in similar industries.
• Virtual Assistant Teams can be extremely effective to handle on-line jobs remotely, without the added cost of space, insurance, payroll taxes, paid vacations and the like.
• In this world of fast turn-around time; when it comes to hiring collaborative teams, focus on QUALITY, not quantity.  Sometimes slowing down will get you there faster.

ACTION PLAN:

• If you already have a team in place, make monthly evaluations.
• Have a Standard Operating Procedure and Employee manual so everyone plays by your rules and not theirs.  Clear communication is key in forming, sustaining, and maintaining a collaborative team.
• Create firm boundaries.  What’s okay, what isn’t, and impress upon them the value of YOUR time, as well as theirs.
• Clearly communicate the common goal of your business.
• Show appreciation for a job well done.
• Show appreciation when they least expect it.
• Acknowledge their contribution to you, your business, and your clients.
• Consider a profit-sharing plan for those committed to help your business grow.
• Create promotion opportunities whenever possible.
• Maintain a sense of enthusiasm and excitement in job-related activities.
• Help them see how they are part of your bigger picture.
• Make them feel included, and not excluded.
• Lead with your passion, compassion and by example.
• Use your Dream Team for advice, guidance, direction, brainstorming and “accountability.”
• Enjoy the fruits of your labor!

Sometimes it takes a village, sometimes it takes a tribe, and sometimes, it simply takes TWO TO TANGO!

Are You Fully Self-Expressed?

It is not always easy to say exactly what you are thinking.  You want to, you really want to; and then….there is this big BUT that holds you back.  And then, there are those times, when you say exactly what you want to say, and it turns out to be the wrong thing with dire consequences.  So what gives?

A lot of things!  Among them:

¨      Awareness

¨      Acceptance

¨      Assertiveness

¨      Self-esteem

¨      Self-worth

It is very important that what you think, say and do, it’s in complete alignment; otherwise, mayhem will follow.

Remember the times when you wanted to say something witty, meaningful and impacting, only to find yourself saying:  “I wished I would have said……”

Then there are times you wish you could take back every word out of your mouth, including pauses, commas and new paragraphs.

CONSIDER:

What causes you to hold back?

¨      Is it FEAR-based?

¨      Are you afraid of Rejection?

¨      Are you afraid of Approval (Having to live up to higher standards.)

¨      Are you driven by a “deep” need to please other people, including your parents, peers, friends, colleagues, clients?

¨      As an adult, are you still looking for Approval and afraid you may not get it if you say the wrong thing?

What causes you to speak without thinking?

¨      Are you overwhelmed with too much knowledge?

¨      Do you feel a need to just spill the beans no matter the consequences?

¨      Is being judgmental the driving-force behind your outburst?

¨      Will you be “lesser than” if you don’t speak-up now?

¨      Will you be “greater than,” thus fulfilling a sense of self-importance?

OPTIONS:

¨      Rising awareness of what’s happening will help you do something about it.

¨      Getting clear about the causes will help you identify their roots.

¨      Knowing their roots will help you find balance between aggressive and/or passive thinking, speaking and behavior.

¨      Find knowledge within you that once the issue is identified, it can be changed, transformed, and maintained.

¨      Being assertive is a crucial component to being fully self-expressed.

¨      Know that there are many alternatives to becoming assertive.

¨      Embrace the fact that you are human.

¨      Start the process from where you are, and not from where you wish you could have been.

ACTION PLAN:

¨      Start by having strong opinions, no matter what the topic is.

¨      It’s okay for your opinions to even be obnoxious.  Own them!

¨      Remember opinions are your perception of facts, and not necessarily the facts; however, have them anyway.

¨      Lose the fear of being wrong!

¨      This will help you build your self-esteem.

¨      Awareness is everything.  Write down the symptoms of either holding back, or speaking without thinking, and dissect them.

¨      Identify the real causes.  Accept the reality of it.

¨      If it is a psychological problem, talk to a professional.

¨      It could even be a physiological issue that causes you to over-think what you want to say.  Talk to your family physician.

¨      Take a course on Assertiveness, join a Toastmaster’s club or hire a coach specialized in helping people being aligned in what they think, say and do.  This is crucial.

¨      Do all of the above!

¨      More importantly, be who you are! Both your self-esteem and sense of self-worth will receive a tremendous boost, and you can build from there.

The major component to be fully self-expressed is authenticity and transparency; however, own your thoughts, your opinions and your way of being.  It is who you are!

So, tell me, are you fully self-expressed?

Leave your comments below!

Much love and success,

Ali

International Coach, Passionista Leader and

Intuitive Activist

http://AliRodriguez.com

(386) 676-6706